They Told Me It Was Okay To Be Less Productive During Covid But I’m Starting To Think That It Wasn’t

Rejected on November 23, 2020

They told me it was fine to sit back and slow down during Covid, but Stacy just launched a bespoke milestone crafts business and I’m starting to feel like I’m falling behind. 

They looked me dead in the eyes and said “bring down the stress…bring down the anxiety…” basically rocking me to sleep and I woke up to an article about Max’s company being valued at 1 billion dollars. 

They said it was totally normal to feel ongoing depression and paranoia and not be able to get out of bed, so I stayed in bed for an extra hour and woke up to find Charlie as the new CEO of a mattress startup?! 

They told us to prioritize “time-off” and “self-care,” so I took a day off and binged a show or two and BAM—8 hours later, Cara has been promoted to partner at her Law Firm! 

They said baking banana bread was a good stress-reliever. No matter where I looked, the world’s crappiest dessert breakfast was staring me in the face. So I decided to make banana bread and two hours later, Jenna had quit her job during a pandemic to become a lifestyle influencer… 

They said that these unprecedented times were a reality check for all of us. That we were all moving too fast. That we needed to “slow it down” and “remember what mattered,” and I guess for Steve that meant starting a neon pilates ball business on Amazon.